LESSONS I (MAY HAVE) LEARNED THE HARD WAY

A woman’s ‘monthly curse’ doesn’t necessarily refer to me.

A titmouse is not a device used to search for internet porn.

Oxymoron is not a stupid bovine.

‘Pissing contest’ is an expression, not an actual event.

Channel surfing does not involve a boogie board and a European body of water.

Himalaya is not an Italian pimp’s work order.

Liposuction has nothing to do with lips.

A Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program is not viable because they would be compelled to answer the door.

Early to bed and early to rise sucks.

Catatonic: 1 jigger tonic water, 2 jiggers cat.

Greenland isn’t.

Horticulture is not a “My Fair Lady”-type transformation of a ‘working girl.’

With friends like you, who needs enemas?

While I’m uncertain if money can buy happiness, I’m positive that it can rent it.

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2 responses to “LESSONS I (MAY HAVE) LEARNED THE HARD WAY

  1. You made me smile. The gang at Writers in the storm loves that you follow our blog and we wanted to be sure to stop in and get to know you better. Glad we did.

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